Reminiscing on Memories

I've doing a lot of reflecting on how much God has worked in me throughout these last 4 or 5 years.

It's pretty INSANE to think about how much I've changed in that time.

Some days when I look back on my old journals that I've kept in some of the hardest times I've faced, I can hardly recognize the girl who would always give up when things got hard.

The girl who had no idea how to believe in herself.

The girl who didn't want to ask for help even though she needed it more than anything in her life.

Sure, I still struggle with every single one of those things.

But, everything in my life is different.

I know that God can give me every ounce of strength I could ever need.

I know that God made me in His perfect image.

I know that I can't go through life and this struggle alone.

It's one of the most beautiful things in my life.

It's one of the coolest things that I've seen God do in my life.

Yet, I still struggle.

I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be. 

God, however, is,

Through every weakness I have, He has the opportunity to work through me.

He shows His power through my brokenness, my weakness, my desperation.

For me, those are the times when I try to do things on my own.

I try to control every aspect of my life, and I go my own way to try to make things better.

Usually, those things do the exact opposite.

I'm a MAJOR control freak.

To be frank, it sucks.

A lot.

It sucks to know that God can do all these awesome things in my life.

It sucks that I tend to refuse Him the opportunity to radically change my life.

I'm learning how to let go of control and let God fulfill His plans for my life.

It's certainly not easy.

Honestly, it's the HARDEST things I've done in my life.

I often think I know better than God.

But, I don't.

I'm working on it, and I think I'm getting better.

But, take an opportunity to look back at what God has done in you.

It will radically change the way you look at life.

At least, it did that for me.

-Kati